1) Your dog/kid/neighbor kept you up most of the night.
2) You forgot something small, like your goggles, hat, or sunscreen.
3) Loooooong lines at the Biffy port-o-potties.
4) They will play the U2’s “Beautiful Day” at least three times before the race even if it is raining sideways.
5) When you were out warming up on the bike someone moved your gear in transition.
6) Guys – you’ll be assigned a pink swim cap.
7) The slowest swimmers in the race will be directly in front of you. They will kick you.
8 ) The fastest swimmers in the race will start directly behind you. They will grab your ankles.
9) You’ll have to pee the second you get in the water.
10) There will be a massive pile up at the first turn buoy.
11) The water will be wavier than your warm up swim the day before.
12) Your perfect schematic of T1 will look like a yard sale by the time you get there.
13) Mount Line and first 50 feet of the bike course will be the worst display of balance you’ve seen since the last time you closed the bar down.
14) It’ll be hotter out there than you planned for.
15) The 10 year old boy scout at the Bottle Exchange means well, but he’ll drop the bottle before it hits your hand.
16) You will be passed by someone who is either 20 years older or 50 pounds bigger than you. You can find that demoralizing or inspiring. The choice is yours.
17) Flat tire.
18) You’ll be cut off on a tight turn.
19) The run will cause chaffing in places you won’t talk about later in the day.
20) You didn’t wear enough sunblock.
Even if none of the above will in fact surprise you, your friends will carry on about at least five of the things mentioned above after the race. Don’t be surprised by that either.